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I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I'm worthy of healing.
I've been struggling with body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs) since I was about eight years old. Now at 30, I realize just how long that’s been. But it wasn’t until the past few years that I even recognized my picking as a problem.
Over time, this behavior has shown up in different ways—during my adolescent years, I mostly picked at my fingers. These days, the focus has shifted to my face and scalp. Sadly, I’ve developed small bald spots from picking, and I carry scars all over my body—from my head, to intimate areas, all the way down to my ankles. It’s a deep source of shame, one I carry silently until the scars fade enough to be less noticeable.
What many people don’t understand is how hard it is to “just stop.” For me, and for many others, it became a coping mechanism. A destructive one, yes—but something that’s been years in the making.
My family and I believe that my brother and I developed these habits as a result of growing up around domestic violence. It wasn’t always directed at us, but witnessing it was enough. The constant anxiety of not knowing what version of someone would walk through the door each evening—would he be angry, or would he be the happy-go-lucky, joke-cracking version of himself we loved?—left its imprint. When things were good, they were really good. But when they were bad, they were really bad.
This is just another ugly side of addiction that rarely gets talked about. Children may be resilient, but that resilience can evolve into self-destruction if our inner child is never validated—if we’re never told, you don’t have to just survive anymore.
It’s sad to admit that I’ve never truly known life without the consequences of my picking. During bad episodes, my family often feels helpless, unsure of how to support me. We've tried everything—from tough love to medical advice—but I’ve come to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all path to healing. It has to start from within. You have to want to heal.
Many of us who struggle with chronic picking hit a kind of rock bottom. It’s a silent collapse—losing self-confidence, motivation, and hope. But I’ve finally come to believe something powerful: I am worthy and deserving of healing. We all are.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
What’s helped me most is a wraparound approach—support from all angles. That means attending therapy, maintaining a gentle skincare routine, scheduling my days to stay occupied (and to keep my hands busy!), and surrounding myself with kind, supportive people who I can lean on when I feel an episode coming.
I've also learned that reducing caffeine and processed sugar makes a big difference—seriously, it matters more than you'd think. Pimple patches can act as a physical barrier and are a godsend when anxiety is high. Positive affirmation apps can help shift your mindset and keep you grounded.
Sometimes, it's the smallest changes that make the biggest difference. And if this helps even one person feel less alone in their struggle, then sharing my story is worth it." - @embersofivy, Arizona
