"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I hate to be in pain and I want to feel better with my apearence! Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm brazilian. I have ADHD and anxiety desorder and now, I know that I have dermatilomenia too. I never know that picking me was a real mental health problem, I think it was just a bad habit. I always known that I couldn't control it, since I was a child. When I discovered that this "bad habit" have a name, my world makes all the sense! I wasn't crazy! So today, I try to talk about dermatilomania, because, specially in Brazil, we don't have many people talking about it. I suffered in silence, without suport, thinking that I had a "stupid behavior" and feeling a lot of pain (like a fire burning my skin). My pillow always had some blood in it. Bad feelings about my apearence too, inflamations, and other things...
Today I try to not hurt my skin and I treat my others disorders, and this makes my dermatilomania less efective. And also, sorry for my English, I'm not so fluent..."- @sarah_moondance, Sarah, 28, Brazil

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I want to feel beautiful. Hi. I’ve been skin picking for as long as I can remember. As a child I was scolded for picking. My dad would put hot sauce on my fingers in hopes to prevent me from picking. My mom would tape socks to my hands before bed.
As a kid, I became ashamed of the way I looked and in the behavior I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. I dreamed of the day I could have a beautiful bed with crisp white sheets without the worry of blood stains in the morning.
My mom shuffled me from dermatologist appointments and biopsies.. with no clear answer. I never understood why I couldn’t look like others.. why didn’t they have scars? Was I weird? Clearly I was different. Friends at sleepovers didn’t fidget and scratch.. they weren’t even bother by mosquitos. I stopped wearing shorts. I couldn’t bare to be seen.. I even wore a jacket during the summer.
Now as an adult, I still deal with all of these Insecurities.. luckily my husband loves me for me. He loves when I wear shorts or a skirt. He begs for me to wear a dress out.. though I will put it on, I tend to change my mind as we walk out the door, running back inside to the comfort of jeans and a cardigan. Lest people stare or point at my scars..
two of my children have picked up the habit and I hate myself for passing it to them. I catch myself repeating the same comments I heard growing up.. “stop picking, stop scratching, you don’t want people to see it!” I bite my cheek and hate myself for repeating such negativity to my babies.
My mom still to this day acts surprised to see a new scar.. “oh my god!! What happened?!” Like she has to be told? You’ve watched me grow up with this condition.. you shouldn’t have to be told. I’d rather her ignore it. But she can’t. So I can’t help but feel every blemish..

I’ve picked to the point, I have to have iron infusions. I’m on my fifth in a year..
I can’t seem to stop.. all I want is to stop. Feel confident in my own skin. Love myself.. see myself the way my husband does. Maybe one day..."- Renee, 25, Georgia

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because it has taken over so much of my life. I used to pick a certain spot on my head for much of my life until one day I just stopped, then years later I began picking my face due to anxiety and later diagnosed with excoriation disorder. Thinking back wishing I knew why I was always picking this certain spot on my head. Turns out it wasn’t just a “dirty habit” and I can’t just stop."-Anonymous, 23, Canada

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I have goals, dreams, and ambitions that will not be stopped by this disorder. I’ve been picking my skin as long as I could remember. The main target, my face and legs… or anything that looked like I had to get something out. A few years ago on Snapchat, I read an article about dermatillomania AKA chronic skin picking. Such an odd name, it sounded like I’m the crazy one but I resonated with it. That was me. I would pick when there was something I didn’t want on my body, when I was overwhelmed, stressed and even bored but absentmindedly. Along with ADHD, the hyperfocus can be a dangerous thing.

I live in Texas, work in a gym, and do pageants. My skin is always on display. Summer is my favorite season. I love to be in a bikini… when I’m alone. When I’m with friends, I see how clear and good their skin looks. No dark scars, no open wounds. And if I could only stop picking, and allow my body to heal, my skin would look clear like theirs. I’ve always had confidence, a little less when I knew people were staring at my skin. In 2023, I was in a pageant and of course, there was a swimsuit category. I knew my scars were going to be on display for everyone to judge. I’m the only one on stage and everyone can see every bit of me, every scar, every blemish and every imperfections, FRONT AND BACK. Well, I actually ended up winning best swimsuit!!! I was shocked! Me! I won best swimsuit, me and my skin picking won! It gave me a new confidence, made me want to pick less. Short lived, if you want the flowers, you gotta have the rain. This disorder is just that.

As much as I want to stop, I haven’t been able to. Not completely, yet. Through the years, I’ve gotten my acne under control which means less breakouts, which means less time looking in the mirror seeing what I can get out or flatten. I’ve gotten into skin care and facials, which has helped me clear the scarring I’ve done to myself. I’ve become aware when I need to keep my hands busy so I’m not picking when I’m bored. When I’m stressed or overwhelmed, where I’m up all night thinking and picking, I’ll get my nails done. Acrylics! Because they’re not my actual nails, there’s not a way for me to grab and pick at my skin. It gives my skin a break for a couple of weeks.

I hope my story helps someone else. I know finding this platform has helped me knowing I’m the alone! We got this!"-Stasia, @5ta5ia, 26, Texas

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I hope this can help anyone else, it's also helped me by expressing my feelings. I lost my dad to mental health and addiction 5 years ago but also the lead up to his passing the 4 years before that were brutal. I had to section him a few times, seen my step brother pass the same way few years before and had to help my dad to sleep as he was home in an open coffin and my dad just couldn't cope. He had a very abusive childhood and everything started to trigger his emotions back and brought a lot of demons out in him. I was sexually abused at 10 years old by an old aged neighbor who I tried to keep company and helped with his garden as he was widowed. I hit drugs at a young age due to a confused young head. I have ADHD that my step dad (head psychiatrist) diagnosed me with himself but I never got the help I needed, not even after going to court etc as a 10 year old scared confused girl then this on top. I used to have bad dreams for years and I fainted every time I was scared, nervous etc. I still do but now it's years between them. I've battled a lot in my head and tried to play the over confident person while deep down I've been fighting a lot of dark demons myself from a young age. I've lost good friends and an ex boyfriend to suicide. Then had a baby at 19, she turned my life around then had my son at 22. I've been with my partner 15 years but he's been quite abusive and disloyal to me over the years. I work full time and work is my escape. It made my confidence and self esteem start to grow as I run a pub but then I did a 14 hour shift, went to hospital with belly pain and gave birth 4 hours after (absolutely no idea I was pregnant). I had periods, no weight gain, no milk, no nothing. I had to deal with the fact I was confident and finally knew my own worth and was ready to walk away from my relationship then had another baby with him, no work escape just reality trying to stay strong all over again. I lost all grandparents apart from my 1 nan, my dad, my ex, my friends, my stepbrother, and felt so alone my dad was my soul mate (family bond best friend way) my best friends have been disloyal with my boyfriend. I was that little vulnerable girl all over again. I am absolutely smitten with him and believe my dad sent him to me to help me find myself again but after all the trauma I started picking my skin, genuinely goggling parasites in skin etc constantly believing I had bugs inside me, felt like things were crawling on me. I was itching my head so bad I was checking for headlice every night. I had hair loss bad eventually then my skin got worse and I was adamant I had blood cancer or parasites. The more I picked the worse it became and I knew how bad I looked but it became addictive. I was crazy insecure but still done it. My boyfriend said I looked disgusting like Deadpool but the worse it got and the worse I looked and felt the more I done it. I've stopped it much more now I still do it though and more so on bad days I'm left with scarring and I've ruined my looks. I actually never realized it was self harming and a mental health disorder at the time and now I do I actually do deal with it better. The sooner you realize it is self harming it's not cancer, parasites etc the more you learn to deal with it. Go for nice walks, visit your favourite places, sit down at the beach late evening listen to the waves, breath in salt air and watch the sky, if its a full moon its the most soul cleansing, mindful, relaxing experience just lying down taking it all in. I also from my past trauma write a diary, I now have 2 emails and email myself like a journal. I find it hard to open up to absolutely anyone so writing it all down I feel is like speaking out and I like to read them back sometimes and be proud of what I've gone through and got through and it makes me feel empowered and stronger."-Anonymous

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because it's TIME! My friends affectionately call me Foxxy, and my family lovingly refer to me as Sunshine. These names encapsulate the version of me that others perceive, and I yearn to see that version of myself. My journey of picking has spanned longer than I can recall, and it has intensified with age and the increasing responsibilities I have embraced, or more accurately, the ones I have willingly taken on.

My doctors and mental health providers have experimented with various medications and therapies over the years to help me, but at 42, my struggles have escalated and now I have noticed my child showing the same behavior (she is 20). I dedicate most of my days to caring for others, leaving little time for myself. My picking routine has become a nightly ritual, starting when the kids and my sister, whom I care for, are asleep. I rely on my trusty tools: a desktop mirror, a cell phone's high-intensity light, and these dreadful tweezers. Despite my efforts, I often throw my tweezers away. I often find myself at 3 a.m., ordering new pairs of tweezers from my local 24-hour CVS.

I sit for hours, picking until the morning birds are singing or the sun rises, hoping that this will be the last time I pick at my skin. The sadness and shame I feel after does not measure to the peace and relief I feel during.

Everything in me wants to stop destroying my face and to stop giving in to the urge of the secret guilty pleasure.... but it is not a secret because when people that know/love me see me the next day it is written all over my face what I have done. I am so embarrassed to the point I feel ugly, and it is caused so much social anxiety because of the scars, scabs, discoloration, and sores.

When I heard about, I'm #PickingMe, I felt a sense of belonging, as if we were all suffering from the same internal struggles. We come from diverse backgrounds and nationalities, yet I realize I am not alone. I will no longer receive advice to "just stop doing it," something a doctor once told me as I cried, expressing my depression and struggles with picking, no matter how hard I resist the urge.

Yet, I find relief in my actions. I want to #PickMe more than words can describe. I yearn to look into a mirror and not see the things I believe are wrong or need to be fixed. I want to see myself as Foxxy or Sunshine... My recently created affirmations I no longer choose to seek relief at night that only causes pain during the day I'm #PickingMe. I no longer choose to hurt myself; I want the strength to protect myself. I'm #PickingMe to handle the pressures of my life in a more productive and safe manner.

I recently signed up for the next support group.

It will be my first time joining the support group of I'm #PickingMe as I have been lurking in the shadows of the group... part of my lack of participation has been fear and anxiety.... but mostly I had to officially come to the point of saying out loud and really mean I'm #PickingMe which I am now at. because realistically as much as I hate doing it part of me will miss the feeling of the process it reminds me of when I quit smoking cigarettes many years ago.

I know I will receive tools and more from the platform. Most importantly a safe space to express myself without judgement, finger pointing and stares. I feel amongst my family, and I look forward to us all learning and seeing the beautifully unique version of ourselves.

We all have a little Foxxy inside of us and Sunshine to not only brighten other days but to brighten our lives!! Allow me to reintroduce myself. Hello, my name is Ms. Foxxy Sunshine and today I #PickMe

Today Sept 22, 2024

#PickingMe
#IamFoxxy
#IamSunshine
#NolongerhurtingMe
#IChooseme
#PickingMe"- Ms. Foxxy Sunshine, 42, Virginia

"Ever since I was 5 I would bite my nails Then, in 4th grade, I broke out with small little bumps on my arms. They bothered me, but I never picked at them. Later I would break out in pimples on my face, but never touched them because I didn't want to get more...but my parents always told me to pop them, etc. Finally, I caved and I couldn't stop. It stared at my face, then my arms, then my legs, my armpits, breasts, and other areas. Now I can't stop. I tried and over the summer I was determined to look 'normal' before I started high school, and I made progress but now I'm back where I started and it's worse. I pick without realizing it or because I feel stressed, depressed, and other strong emotions. I get lectured for my skin-picking by my parents. Only yesterday did my mom finally listen to me when I told her it's a condition. I try to wear long sleeves to cover up and to prevent me from picking, but it gets too hot for me. I feel insecure about my body and all my scars/open wounds."- Elenor, 14, San Diego, CA

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I am more then my disorder and I deserve to have control over my life and my happiness so I will never give up.
TRIGGER WARNING: blood
Hi I’m Sim, I’m 23 and I have OCD with severe skin picking because of this I consistently have bad infections which need antibiotic tablets or antibiotic cream. I also consistently feel dizzy/unwell because of the infections all over my body. I become stuck in the same position picking for anything between 2 to 10 hours and sometimes more without a break which causes my body to always ache and I am in pain which negatively impacts my daily life, mood and relationships. I always pick deeper so I will bleed and then my wounds will weep for days.
In 2015 when I was 15 I started attending CAMHS appointments when my skin picking became a big issue in my life then in 2018 when I was put under the adult mental health team.
In 2020 I was with the crisis team and I spoke to a psychologist for a year which is when I was diagnosed with OCD and she taught me skills but I still struggled to fight urges to pick my skin.
In 2021 I was put under the community mental health team and I am currently seeking treatment from them. I attended Emotional Coping Skills (DBT) group therapy for 6 months. Now I am half way through my 6 months of 1-1 therapy with my psychologist, I have learnt so much over the years but I still struggle and my skin is never clear. I just want others who have also felt like skin picking has taken over most of their life and if they are still struggling to know they are not a failure and they are not alone. "- @simonecloutt, Simone Cloutt, 23, London

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I can stop picking with the support from all of you who share the same mental illness as me. I no longer feel alone. I can do this!

I’m age 47 and have a picking disorder as far as I can remember. I pick for hours until it bleeds. I will only stop picking if there’s a smooth surface or if it start to give a burning sensation. I will then sometimes clean the wound and bandage it. Unfortunately the bandage slips off through out the night and I’m back picking the same surface the next day. The only way I’m satisfied not pick , if ii can pull off the whole scab at one time not leaving rough edges. In my mind, I have accomplished the task. Unfortunately I’m left with a dime size insect bite that looks like something else happened.I feel embarrassed and try and hide the results from husband and kids."- Anonymous, 47

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because this disease is real and will be a part of my life forever, but I refuse to go back to where I was. Instead I will keep moving forward and use my tools I worked so hard to learn and implement in my life. I deserve to choose myself.
Having keratosis pilaris, I have always picked at my skin since I was little. But from 2016 I suffered severe depression and my main coping mechanism became skin picking. I was covered head to toe with sores and skin lesions. I would spend 6+ hours a day picking and never left my house. I couldn't work or function from all the shame and guilt. It was the worst feeling and everything felt hopeless.

I finally got a therapist who helped me learn new coping skills and I spent years of therapy to slowly stop picking. I completely stopped picking at my skin in 2021 and it was such a relief. My scars cover my body and made me so self conscious. I spent thousands of dollars on microneedling to help diminish my scarring.

I finally got to the point where I was able own my scars and not let them define me. I never thought I would ever feel comfortable in my own skin but I finally reached that point.

I've been skin pick free for years but recently relapsed and started picking again. I came to this site for support and to share my experience. "- Anonymous, 32

"I was a 3 lb premie, been picking all my life, over the last 30 years it’s been OCD driven by a medication that did the opposite of what it was supposed to do. Diagnosed at 43 with ADHD also have undiagnosed Autism. I’ve had anxiety since I can remember with now being some of the worst. I have been married for 41 years and have a 28 year old Autistic daughter who doesn’t talk to me, blames me for everything she has. I did the very best I could with the knowledge I had."- Anonymous, 72