"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I don't want to be embarrassed of my scalp anymore. I've been picking at my scalp ever since 2nd grade and now I start 8th grade in 3 days. I was able to stop picking in the 4th grade but recently I started again because I happened to get a really bad sunburn and now I can't stop." -Braelyn Rhea, 13, Mansfield, OH

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I am more than my skin. I am more than my disorder. I am a 30 year old female who lives in Las Vegas, NV. I suffer from this horrible mental disorder, and I have for awhile now. I am not the only one in my family, either. At a VERY young age I would witness my Mother spend literal hours in our bathroom, and then another hour or so scrubbing the skin on her face with abrasive objects. I guess I grew up seeing it as normal, honestly. I would be so shocked when peoples parents didn't do the same. I remember thinking how beautiful my mother was, and how I'd wish for even a second she could see herself through my eyes - beautiful inside, and out.
I have always scanned my skin. Running my fingers over the bumps and lumps I would feel at my finger tips. It wasn't until a few years ago when I started getting horrible adult acne that I began actually picking, though. After my acne was gone, and I had clear skin I would freak out if I felt a clogged pore, or I got a pimple and I would pick it, then pick some more. Leaving me with gaping wounds along my face, and most of the time picking those same wounds...in my mind I was "fixing" the imperfections. Even to this very day I have spent HOURS in the mirror, picking away at what my mind perceives as imperfections. I obsess, and then I obsess some more. "Are they looking at my clogged pores?" "I bet the only thing they notice are the red marks and the (single) pimple on my face."
Are just a few things that go through my head. Then the urge to pick sets in, and the want to pick can get so bad its almost physically painful. After hours in a trance like state, I am mortified with what I've done to myself. Then, the intense shame, and guilt come rushing in. This disorder makes me feel so insecure. Some days I hide away in my bed hoping and praying no one sees my face. I will have periods of remission, and always end up picking yet again. This disorder feels like a mental and physical prison. This group helps me feel noticed, and like I am not alone. For anyone reading this....you are not alone. You matter, and you are beautiful no matter what. My name is Brittany, and I have Dermatillomania." -@hulahoopingteddybear, Brittany Tucker, 30, Las Vegas, NV

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I’m so tired of constantly feeling like I need to hide because of the way my skin looks. I want to be able to go out without wearing makeup and be confident in my own skin. I first started picking my skin in sixth grade. I remember I saw a giant pimple on my face and I was mortified. I popped it, thinking it would go away… but it didn’t. And boy was it satisfying to pop it! I began to pop my acne more frequently, until where I am now in 11th grade. I want to get better. I really do. I want to look in the mirror and be happy, instead of putting myself down." -Anonymous

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I want to feel like I belong again. Like I can be there for my kids and husband without hiding in the bathroom. I need to get help with my problem and take back who I use to feel comfortable being. I have picked my skin for years, ever since I can remember. I am 35yrs old and I can see the damage it has caused me. I already have a lot of self esteem issues along side of mental health problems and me picking at myself makes me feel a sense of euphoria for the moment then once I’m done and see the amount of damage it has caused it makes me feel like I am ugly, disgusting no body. I have found this to interfere with my life in alot of ways such as feeling lower about myself than I already do, I will refrain from leaving out of the house at any cost even if I know it will cause a argument with my husband and children. I am so ashamed, embarrassed, and disgusting with picking but I just can not seem to get it under control. What made me stumble on this website is because it is currently 4:22 am where I am and I have been picking ALL night. Since about 12am. I know it sometimes comes from levels of stress, anxiety and the way I feel about myself but I have found that this past month I think has been my all time low for engaging in this behavior and I need it to stop or some type of relief. I have been stressed and anxious durning my life but my current situation has caused this picking to become completely out of control. I find myself staying up for days because I’ve stayed up all night engaging in picking. July 3, I had a house fire and I lost everything. I am very grateful my family was not home at the time and I hang onto that to help ground me but right now I don’t even think the house fire is the worse stress and sadness in my life. It is dealing it’s my renters insurance company about handling my loss. I have never felt like a piece of trash as much as I do now and the insurance company has made me feel like that because they treat my loss as if it is not important . No one calls me about what to do, no one answers my questions, I feel lost and hopeless. And now to make matters worse due to the lack of communication my insurance company has provided to me and to the company handling our accommodations for housing next week we will be homeless. I have a large family size and 2 of the people whom I take care of have developmental disabilities. I feel sick to my stomach to know I have paid a company to completely let me down and leave me homeless. So the picking of my face, arms. Legs, head, back has become so bad that I hide to hide what I have did to myself. I feel like I’m at a point where I don’t know what to do anymore. Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and story and allowing me to vent. It help kill an hr of me picking at my skin. For others going through the picking problem just know there is help. I just have to find it for myself and I hope you all can find it for you selves as well. Good luck to all and thank you for allowing me to share my self." -Danielle Jackson, 35, Cleveland, OH

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I’m so sick of being scared to tilt my head forward, lest someone see the huge sores. I’m sick of people pointing them out, and being concerned, and I’m sick of feeling like a freak. I have dermatillomania, and it presents itself by way of picked open sores on my scalp, and shredded skin around my fingers and lips. I never got as much flack about my lips or fingers, because that’s considered a “normal” fidget thing to do. My scalp, on the other hand, was, and still is, to an extent, covered in huge, open, angry red sores. They’d take maybe a day or two, maybe sped up a little with the help of witch hazel or apple cider vinegar to heal, and then they’d be picked back to bloody.

I used to have nine spots, of varying sizes and severity, littered over all sides of my scalp. Somehow, I managed to let all but three heal. Those, I just can’t seem to get rid of. Honestly, if I could find it in myself to leave the giant one alone, I wouldn’t mind having the other two around so much, unless they started causing hair loss, like a couple did.

The pain, and the itch, well, I just kinda got used to it. It didn’t matter for awhile, I just kinda accepted that this was how it was going to be, and this may sound sick, but I got this weird satisfaction from peeling off skin. I would turn the pieces over and over in my hand, before I’d finally crush them or throw them away.

It finally got to the severity where people started to notice. I started telling teachers ahead of time that I had a nasty skin condition, as I labeled it, and I think I do. Dermatillomania certainly didn’t help. I would tell them not to freak out if they walked by and saw red spots on my head. It was embarrassing. People would point them out in public, and I was so sick of feeling like a freak, but somehow, I just can’t stop." -@sentientroc, Kat Lee, 16, Tampa, FL

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I deserve to feel beautiful and healthy. I wish I could tell my family but they don't understand why I do it or why I don't stop. I'm gonna do it for my own sake. I actually scratch my skin instead of picking it but I damage it either way. This year has been the hardest for me and I hit rock bottom. I started therapy because I want to get better and I need help" -Anonymous, Argentina

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I feel like I need to change, I feel gross. I have had to constantly hide my hand in my pockets. I can’t even get my nails done. I tried to grow it out again, but I just pick and pick until it’s gone again… It started when I was 6. It was my index finger at the time, I would constantly bite and pick my nail until half of my index finger nail was gone. People in elementary school would make fun of me and say that it looked gross…I didn’t feel like a normal child. Even my father would call me crazy." -Anonymous

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I want to be in control of my own body, and be comfortable in my own skin no matter what it looks like. I've been picking at the skin on my chest, legs, face, arms, and scalp since I was about 11- dermatillomania effected my sister and my mother, and was very prominent in my life. Often as a kid, and still occasionally now, i would pick at my skin in public. Most times my sister, grandmothers, and dad would chastise me for my behavior. I want to stop feeling shame for the action and physical effects this disorder, because there's nothing to be ashamed of- and it's nothing anyone should have to feel sorry for doing, especially when I'm not in control of it all the time.
I hope to heal and learn as I age while I make room at the table for dermatillomania, and work through it so I can lead a more confident life, and be in control over my own body." -@ghostbamb, Klaud, 22, San Jose, CA

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I'm tired of constantly worrying about infections and noticing bloodstains on all of my clothing. I've lost a lot of time to skin picking and I'd like to find healthier ways to handle myself. I began skin picking when I entered middle school at 11 or 12. I have always had poor skin quality, as I have eczema and acne, and was met with traumatic experiences and bully from a fairly early age. Skin picking quickly became a method to control this anxiety, sift through memories, and meet other sensory needs I didn't know I had. This unintentional and often mindless self aggression has brought strain to many of my personal relationships (as it has been misinterpreted as self harm). While I was able to bring it down from gouging to more tame picking, I have not been able to drop this habit after at least 10 years of trying and any attempts to do so have been met with the arrival of new, more harmful habits. Finally getting diagnosed with autism, adhd, and ocd as well as getting the medication I need to handle that, I feel empowered to try again with a new understanding of why I pick. I am hoping to explore the different techniques offered here and elsewhere in order to do that." -Anonymous

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I want to take care of the one and only body I have, and that short "relief" only causes a world of hurt. I had a wake up call very recently. I couldn't stop touching my skin, and I sat in front of the mirror until my whole face was swollen and red. I have so much inflammation that, days later, the fluid is still draining from my face, my eyes are swollen, and I have multiple large areas of raw skin trying to heal. It's terrifying to look in the mirror and not recognize yourself. I'm missing out on fun plans with friends, because I need to heal.

I've picked at my skin and bitten ny nails from as young as I can remember, but until this episode, I didn't realize the extent of my struggle with excoriation disorder. Many times I've gone to the point of drawing blood and leaving open sores. During high school, I also suffered from cystic acne and along with my skin picking, and that combination absolutely destroyed my confidence and self-love. I hoped to have clear skin as I aged, but it hasn't happened (yet). Whether on my arms or shoulders or face, I could always find something imprefect to try and "fix."

But it's time to confront this, instead of running from and hiding it. I'm pursuing professional help and telling those closest to me about my struggles, as well as reaching out to lovely groups like this for support. Thank you all for letting me share my story." -Anonymous

"I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I’m tired of explaining why my fingers are bleeding. I’ve always been a picker and a nail biter. My entire family has anxiety so I’ve grown up thinking that it was normal. My dad picks at his fingers as well, but not nearly to the degree that I do. I’ve been told to “just stop” and that it’s “just an anxious habit” from dermatologists, therapists, and psychologists. It is frustrating to not have the validation that this is a real disorder to treat. I’ve always wondered how to answer the question, “what happened to your fingers?” without getting into a big explanation. This page has helped me so much in getting specified solutions for this problem." -@sally.janeee, Sally R., 21, Charlotte, N.C.