Skip to main content
  • Join the conversation. @pickingmefdn #pickingme

Read CEO Lauren McKeaney's story!

Sharing you story allows you to:

-Take control back from this controlling disorder
-Lessen the stigma that this is merely a bad habit
-Find & relate to others suffering with this as well
-Challenge what society perceives as 'Bad Skin'
-Advocate a mental illness in much need of attention
 

Looking to to take part in more advocacy? Submit an Impact Video for our upcoming Skin Picking movie!

*CONTENT WARNING: Some images below may include blood, open wounds


Email us your story

Add Photo
No file selected
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I’m tired of living with this weight on my shoulders. I’ve been picking since I was in elementary school. People thought it was just a bad habit. As I got older I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and dermatillomania. I pick primarily on my shoulders and lower legs which are easy to hide but I don’t wear dresses and generally don’t wear tank tops either. I’ve had people ask if I’m diseased or if I have a skin condition. People ask me if it’s self harm. It’s awful. I don’t like feeling this weight of having to explain it to people. Especially people I date are always weird about it. I’m trying to heal by having fidget toys and other things and it’s a slow go but I think it’s working."
    -@j.roadkill, Jill, 16, La Grande, OR
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I deserve to feel good about myself. I want my family to be proud of me. I have been struggling with skin picking for almost 10 years. I get a thrill from popping pimples. This skin picking has impacted my marriage and now my daughter is starting to notice the scars and irritated pimples on my face. I have anxiety, depression, and ADHD. I do take medicine for this. I feel as if my hands have a lot of nervous energy. I go through good days of not picking and then bad days of non stop picking."
    -Anonymous
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I know that one day this all will be just a memory, I will be living in comfort of wound free life. Just like I am living the comfort of no longer living with eating disorder. I have recovered from that beast, I can totally say this one is also possible to fight off. We all deserve the peace. Seek help. Do your homework. Cover those mirrors, do your journaling, work on acceptance, invite in the imperfect life, keep going. And never stop trying. This is diagnosis that is not for life. We did not pick it for ourselves, but we can pick a life free of it. After I've discovered there there is a name for what I've been secretly doing for years I even opened up about it to my partner and friends and family...my dermatillomania got worse but I didn't feel as "bad" for it because I was like yeah, this is illness I can't really do much about it. I tried different approach. Not that I'm completely free of it yet, but for the first time I really see it differently. what helped was reading a book on a different subject but I thought I'd share it with you. Brain over binge - helped a lot so there you go. because here and there I still act on my impulses- but now I know that I am not actually ill- my brain is okay, I "just have to stop it" as many where telling me before and I started "No, you don't get it, it's actually an illness called dermatillomania and I can't just stop it and bla bla"....well, maybe I could have saved myself a lot of distress and permanent scars. Don't get me wrong- the urges are still there- and that thing I did not choose- I've always been trying to do everything perfect look perfect and so on... I even drew a picture today of my boyfriend because I had an hour fight with myself because I wanted to squeeze his "imperfections."
    My lovely boyfriend has been with me on my journey for over a year. I am very dedicated to recovering from this. I often hear him saying "but whyyyyyy, It's so stupid. Is this how you want to spend your time?! You would be so beautiful if you would just stop thus bullshit behaviour"...like all those sentences from my mind got arms and legs and mouth to speak. He is really fed up, he often says I am beautiful to him but he is too tired from all the talks. I know. I am tired. So many little victories and so many failures. Over and over again. It affects my work tremendously, my relationship could potentially end just because it is so exhausting and there I am, scarred and in pain.
    I've put on makeup, which I am so bloody thankful for, I found compassion and love for me and hands down I am keen on fighting until I will find peace. over and over.
    On a side note- I do believe I have diagnosis of anxiety and depression for life. I work on it. I do meditate. I do take my pills (which helped me with my very lowest lows and my "anxious core tremble" tremendously)
    but I believe those have been the true starters of both my eating disorder diagnosis and dermatillomania
    both deeply rooted in feelings of uncertainty and "hiding from them/relieving them" with behaviour patterns that do more harm than good after all.
    I've read the book (that I mentioned to you in my first message)- Brain over binge- I read that before gifting it to my mother that couldn't wrap her head around my past eating disorder. It helped me see that this disorder has something very common with dermatillomania and that is: It may have started because I believed that it will help my skin, but then it turned into habitual behaviour by which it is classified as illness. if there is not a behaviour- there is no illness. And since I do not do any eating disordered "habits" I am finding myself no longer being a sufferer of one. One day my relapses with skin picking will be so spread out that they will not be occurring at all and I will no longer have to deal with skin picking, painful sores and spending hours covering the damage.
    I am proud of who I am despite having this my current struggle. But keeping in mind that people have much worse struggle than this. In a way, we are blessed to be struggling "just with this horrible thing we do to ourselves" and not something that we do not have control over. This is literally in our hands and there is a way out. In the meantime- sending all the love to everyone in the boat.
    Last two things I want to share- my beloved way of getting my makeup off when my skin is at it's worse: those miracle microfiber makeup removing halos/pads/gloves/towels- you'll put them under just warm water, close your eyes and remove everything super gently, slowly, no product. no exfoliating agents, no makeup wipes- way better for your face and environment. I bought mine at a drugstore for 3,50€. It creates a barrier between my fingers and my face as well.
    The second thing is video on how to stop skin picking. I've seen it maybe 1,5 years ago and I decided to try recovery. Not there yet, but many times I've heard kackies voice saying "you CAN actually stop...and it is better to have picked those two spots and not 18" ....or thousand. You know.
    https://youtu.be/oKipVyxAJOI
    So...big thank you from Europe for bringing us all together."
    -@andrea.jarosova, Andrea, Slovakia
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I need to take control of it... I need to learn what triggers it... what drives me to start and stop... and to be free from it. I have been picking my entire adult life. There were break times when I was doing fine (but don't know why) and times when things were/are pretty bad. I've been seeing lots of doctors and doing therapy for many years now and just recently I became aware that my picking disorder actually started when I was a child. At the time, my parents and doctors were treating it as an allergy (to insect bites) and I spend most of my childhood and teenager years wearing long sleeve shirts or hiding parts of my body. I am still struggling with this discovery and questioning why a child would start picking... what kind of stress and/or anxiety drove me to start doing it... this condition left me with deep scars, not only physically but more importantly, psychologically speaking. I will continue my journey on understanding why I do it and hopefully getting back my control over it."
    -Anonymous
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I do not want my son asking me why my face has blood on it and worrying about me hurting myself. I can do this for him and me. Dermatillomania - I never write much on here and I am not sure why but I was thinking tonight about my other difficulties.
    I have something called dermatillomania alongside ED. It’s an obsession with picking at my skin. I began to notice my obsession with picking at areas of my skin in junior school. It started with an obsession about my face and having spots. Many people think, oh well she just loves picking spots, and yes that is part of it but the most basic part. I started becoming obsessed with my face and any small spot I would pick and pick until my skin was broken and bleeding. I didn’t care where I was when I did this and would obsessively scratch and pick at things even if I had no mirror to see them. I would also begin to obsess about other peoples skin. If other kids had a spot I would obsessively stare at it and at times would manage to convince my friends to let me pick their skin. It sounds funny writing this but my best friend has a scar on her nose where I literally dug a spot out. As I got older I would routinely sit at my mirror at home for hours combing my face and body for things to pick at until my skin was raw and bleeding. I have so many scars on my face from picking so badly, luckily as I am so pale they are not as noticeable as some others. I was eventually put on roacutaine and it cleared my skin up so well I got anxious about having nothing to pick at. I’m ashamed to say that sometimes I would put dirt on my face in the Hope it would infect my skin and bring out a spot I could pick. I then got convinced by a private dermatologist to have a £3000 resurfacing procedure with tiny needles that would “make my skin perfect once an for all” I was so naive I spent all my savings doing this and it made no difference at all. Over time it’s got better and I try to limit myself to a monthly picking session to my face, though it’s often only two weeks i last. Alongside this I manage by picking at other areas of my body such as my arms, just to try and prevent obvious scars. It sucks as people think I am just obsessed with spot popping but having a walk out of a meeting as you can feel a spot and being unable to cope with not popping it immediately is just humiliating. It’s like hair pulling, a serious MH illness and it needs to be more recognised in the medical community."
    -Anonymous, UK
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I’ve had more than enough of living this way! I want my clear beautiful skin back. I'm ready to take back control of my body and feel beautiful and happy again. I don’t want to hide anymore isolating myself from the world because I’m to embarrassed to show my face. It’s time for me to pick me over skin picking and make a change for the better. My name is Katelyn, I’m 28 years old and I suffer from severe dermatillomania! I also suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, Anxiety and Depression. This skin picking disorder has become the worst of my mental illnesses and just keeps getting worse! I spend hours a day picking my face making little bumps and blemishes that you can hardly see into bleeding lesions on my face. I sometimes pick other parts of my body like my head, arms and legs but mostly target my face. I’ve always picked as a kid but never really picked my face until I fell pregnant with my second child when I was 21. I realized I had a severe problem when I had to put on a pound of foundation just to go to the hospital to give birth. It just got worse and worse from that time. Once in a great while my face will get clear but it never last more than a couple of weeks sometimes almost a month before I would find myself picking again and the next thing I know my face is covered in lesions and sores. Bad enough my face is already full of scars from picking over the past 8 years. I have tried getting acrylic nails to make it so it would be harder to pick but I would just get frustrated because I could feel all the scabs with my finger tips but couldn’t get under them to pick them all off so I’d convert to using tweezers and eventually biting my fake nails off just because the urge to pick is so strong. I’m literally at my wits end and ready to give up all together and just hide away in my room forever and never come out. That’s no way I want to live but at this point I can’t deal with it anymore I need help desperately! I need some sort of solution that works! Please if there’s anyway this foundation can help me stop this vicious cycle of dermatillomania skin picking disorder then please please help me!"
    -Katelyn, 28, Rutland, VT
  • "Bipolar, bpd, possible lupus. I am a picker but my head had been healing. I have alopecia but now 1/3 of scalp thick and sore"
    -@amylynnsassymom, Amy G., 43, Anniston, AL
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I do not need to control everything. I do not need to let my anxiety get the best of me. Ever since I can remember I've been picking something, especially when I got acne. I would pick at my face until the whole thing was bleeding. While I am grateful that there's a community out there, I feel for everyone dealing with their underlying reasons why they pick. I've improved in the last year, but I'm still working on it."
    -@imightberachel, Rachel R., 25, Stateline, NV
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I want to love me again When I look in the mirror the first word I am thinking of is Ugly. I don't want that anymore I want to love me again with all of my good sides and negative sides!"
    -@x.pala.xx_
  • "I'm #PickingMe over Skin Picking because I am worth it. I have picked since before I can remember. I always felt so ashamed of it and like it was all my fault, constantly blaming myself and thinking: "why can't I stop?" My family would always just tell me to stop when they saw me doing it and didn't understand that if it was that easy to stop I would. In any pictures of me since I was super young if I am wearing any clothing showing skin there are visible scabs and scars on my legs. I didn't even know that Dermatillomania is an actual disorder until recently and always felt alone and like something was wrong with me. I have struggled for a while, and continue to struggle, but am finally staring to seek out meaningful solutions such as acrylics which have worked really well for me. Learning that my struggle is shared by others and about Picking Me brought me validation and the feeling that someone understands me."
    -Evelyn Labson, 16, Washington DC