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#ShareYourStory: Cydney

"Dermatillomania is my coping mechanism. I was molested by my father as a young child which has allowed anxiety, depression, and self doubt to creep into my brain chemistry. I’m not gonna go any further into that part, but as a result I’m usually stuck in my head, overthinking and second-guessing every. little. thing. And while I’m in there, before I know it, my hands wander. I pick. I bleed. And I pick some more. My skin feels like it’s burning. I go into a state of trance, and I can be stuck there sometimes for hours. This has been something I’ve dealt with my whole life. But it got much worse when I left home for college in 2008. Showering takes me a really long time because I usually get distracted by my skin. I wear clothes to cover up from head to toe even on the hottest of days. I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid in September this year and I’m kinda nervous about what I’ll have to wear. However, last year I started a health and fitness journey because I was approaching almost 300 lbs and feeling seriously down on myself. All these little red spots on my body were just like 1000 cherries on top of a shit sundae. So I started exercising and feeding my body the right foods. I cut out gluten and dairy. I’ve been drinking a superfood shake that I SWEAR helps my skin and mental clarity. Since then, I’ve lost over 100 lbs and I’m now a health & fitness coach. My mindset is still a work in progress but it’s SO MUCH more of a positive space to exist in than ever before. For the first time, I feel like I’m seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, however cliche that may be. I’m starting to branch out of my comfort zone and wear clothes that show more skin. I know picking will forever be apart of me. It’s a general grooming habit and everyone does it. So there’s no way of getting around it. But I’ve shown myself in losing weight that I can overcome anything. And I will definitely overcome this." -@cydney.straub

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